Day Alone With The Lord

I am breaking my very long xanga fast by updating about my
day alone w/the Lord (from here out out, referred to as DAWTL). 
As you may remember, Dayton Christian gives their teacher's
one day during the school year to spend the entire time with God.
  Reflecting back, last year was tough.  I was going through a
lot emotionally and spiritually.  I posted on here about my
DAWTL last year, and God really did teach me a lot that day,
 although it was a bit painful.

This year, however, was so refreshing.  A time to just sit back,
read, pray, write, and let the Holy Spirit nourish my soul. 

So, through out my DAWTL, I wrote things down that struck me,
and I often write my prayers down, so I will share a few of
those...but, I like to write what I learned.  And if you want to read it,
go right ahead!  But, I will not at all be offended if you don't make
it through all of this.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I started by finishing the book I've been reading, "Meet Mr. Smith"
  by Eric and Leslie Ludy.  For those of you who have read any
of the Ludy's work before, know how great their material is! 
Here are some things that stood out.

"If a woman allows a man to rise to the challenge of
pursuing her, wooing her, and winning her heart over t
ime, instead of thrusting it upon him too readily - his
masculine strength will be tested and strengthened. 
Once he has pursued and won his prize according to
God's perfect pattern, he is far less likely to take her
for granted.  Rather, he will become the heroic protector he
 was created to be laying down his life to preserve and nurture
the heart of the princess that he worked so hard to win. 

A strong, confident, heroic man who rises to the challenge of
winning a woman's heat and then carefully protects and
preserves his hard-won prize...this is the ultimate romantic
desire of nearly every woman I have ever talked to.  Yet,
ironically, many women are actually robbing men of these
qualities simply by their own impatience.  They are in such
a hurry to snag a man that they don't wait for him to initiate.
 They take the lead, become the pursuer instead of the pursued,
and in so doing they strip their man of all the strong masculine
qualities they so desire him to have."

"When it comes to interaction with the opposite sex, our goal should
be to put God's perfect pattern in place, to lay the foundation even
now for a truly Christ-centered love story.  If in every friendship or
relationship, we constantly say, "I must decrease, so that Christ would
increase," not only will we protect the sacredness of our love story,
we will become shining examples of Christ's kingdom to this world
around us.  The Christian life is not all about us-it is all about Him"

In speaking of her relationship with Eric,

"Even from the time we were new friends, it was Eric's goal
to point me toward Jesus Christ and not draw me to himself. 
As a result, after spending time with him, my thoughts were
on Christ, and my desire was to know Jesus more." 

This is my prayer...that I radiate Jesus Christ.  I want Him to illuminate
my life in a way that His love shines through me.  I want my friends
to to feel closer to God after we spend time together, I want strangers
to talk to me and think, "There's something different here." 
I want my students to see Christ through me.  Lord, consume me!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Then I picked up Pastor Mike's dissertation or thesis...not sure
what it's called, that he wrote for his ordination. 

"I have chosen Christ over self; I have chosen love over hate.
This is not simply my statement of faith, but it is who I am."

In his V. Truth in relationship to...People
C. Their Purpose Both Now and Forever
God created mankind to live fully and freely in the wholeness
of relationship with Him, others, and his world (I John 1:3,7).
 As humanity glorifies and enjoys living in the fullness of God,
God rejoices in humanity (Is. 62:5).  The ultimate purpose of
humanity is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever (John 10:10; Ps. 16:11).

AMEN,  Pastor Mike!!!!!

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That got me thinking about missions.  I was praying last night, and
my heart filled with joy over the fact that I was going back to Peru
in 4 months!!!!  It kind of took me by surprise...some of you know
this already, but Peru was pretty rough on me.  It was stretching,
a learning experience, and a year of struggles and questions.  Yet,
God was and is sovereign, and I realized something last night...
I don't remember so much the heat, the bugs, the Peruvian mentality
of "take it and it's yours", although, obviously, I am bringing it up now.  
But, my point is, the thing that stands out the most is how God worked
in my life and the lives of others while I was there.  The stretching,
the trials, they were there to help conform me to be more like Him.

Job 23:10
"But He knows the way I take; when He has tried me, I shall
come forth as gold."

II Corinthians 12:9:10
And He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my
strength is made perfect in weakness.  Therefore most gladly
will I rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ
may rest upon me.  Therefore, I take pleasure in infirmities,
in reproaches, in needs, in persecution, in distresses, for Christ's
sake.  For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Listen to that, "I take pleasure..."  WOW!  Paul could actually state
that he took pleasure in the pains of life because it was for Christ's
 sake!  I want to be able to say that.  No matter where I am,
in Dayton, OH or South America, I desire to say with my whole heart,
 "I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecution,
 in distresses, for Christ's sake." 

You know what that means?  I need to stop complaining about it...
because if I am going to pray and tell God that I will take pleasure
in painful experiences, then I need to do that.  Because of the fact
that what God says, He will do...I must be willing to do for God
what I have told Him I will do. 

I must be willing as Luke writes,
"If anyone wishes to come after me, he must deny himself, and
take up his cross daily and follow me.  For whoever wishes to
save his life will lost it, but whoever loses his life for my sake,
he is the one who will save it.  For what does it profit a man if
he gains the world, but loses his own soul."

Notice the word "daily."  Take up his cross daily.  Not once a week,
not whenever you feel like denying yourself and following Christ,
but daily. Oh, how short I fall from this!  Daily I must willing lose
my life for the sake of Christ...daily I must take up my cross and
follow Him.  Daily I must submit to His will. 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A lot of time was spent in prayer over missions and my character.
 Two very different things, but really, they are related.   My character
determines how I will respond to missions and mission work.  My
 character should be that of Jesus Christ.  But, it's not, and do I have
a long way to go!  I constantly find myself saying things I shouldn't say,
or arguing about things I shouldn't argue about.  And it all goes back
to daily denying myself.  Denying myself of pride, of anger, of ungodly
thoughts and intents, and instead, putting on the character of Jesus Christ
so that His love radiates from me.

The Lord is using this time in my life to prepare me for the future...
so many unknowns!  When will I leave, where will I go, will I be
married or single, how long do I wait... but,  the thing is, I don't need to
know the future.  I need to live my life daily, (and not worry about tomorrow!!)
for Christ, reflecting Him.  But, am I?  The Holy Spirit convicted me of
 quite a few character flaws that we (me and God, that is ),
will be working on.  This preparation period is so important!  The
Lord doesn't put us in what I like to call "preparation mode" and then
not actually prepare us!  So I must be willing to be prepared, to be
stretched, to be used, to wait on His perfect timing.

And it all comes back to daily submitting to Him.  His thoughts are not
our thoughts, and His ways not our ways.  BUT...His way is perfect
 and I want to follow in it. 

I don't share all of this just because...you see, I love my God, and
I pray you do, too.  I want to tell others about how He is working
and what He is teaching.  Reading through the Corinthians, it struck
me how humble Paul was.  He didn't hold anything back, he shared
w/the Corinthians about his doubts, his joys, and the lessons God
was teaching him.  He wasn't silent.  I can't say I've ever been accused
 of being silent.   But, I certainly don't want to be silent in the sharing
of my faith or in how God is working!

"Oh, Lord,
I pray that the very act of loving You brings me to passionate tears
on a daily basis...I lift my eyes up to the mountains-where does
my help come from?  From You, Maker of heaven and earth.
My lips sing Your praise, my tongue will tell of Your greatness. 
For You are my God, and my sole desire is to serve and love You. 
I want to love You passionately and unconditionally.  You are my
bride-groom, my Abba Father, Savior, Redeemer, and Friend.
  You encompass it all. 
My heart's prayer is that others can experience this love.  I want
 to shout it from the mountain tops, I want to whisper it in the ears
of every lost soul.  I want the world to know of Your great love and
saving grace.
I am Yours.  Use me.  I will follow You, I will proclaim Your
goodness to all-just lead me.  I will go...direct my steps...guide me...
I am Yours."

These wouldn't be so long if I would update more often...

Oh my goodness, where I start this update!?  So much is going on, and there's so much to tell...sooo...warning, this could be crazy long and full of rambling!

I don't have time to Christmas shop.  Those of you who know me well, know how much I love Christmas shopping.  It's so weird not having time to shop...maybe it's a sign of being too busy?  Yes, I know it is, but, I feel like I need to be doing everything I'm doing...

<sigh> That reminds me.  I was in a store a few days ago and heard a girl walk in and actually verbalize "gasp!"  Like instead of actually gasping, she said, "gasp!"  And continued to do so while she shopped.  It was quite humorous actually.

Sorry, got off track there.  So, here's what's new with me.

1. I have been working at an Awana club in downtown Dayton teaching junior highers in the Trek club. I only see them once a week, but they stay with me in my heart all week long.  I hurt for them and want to save them from the circumstances they are in.  I can't though...so I pray.  They need Jesus!!!

2.  I have started a home-based business selling Arbonne.  Arbonne is an amazing skin care line that is completely botanically based and is actually healthy to use.  I love it and love sharing this amazing product with others!  But...it keeps me so busy!  Between scheduling one on one's with potential clients and hosting "classes" (parties"), my week fills up quickly.

3.  Deliver Jude, a very talented quartet, has been in need of a new soprano.  I auditioned, and passed phase one of the audition process!  They liked my voice, but want to practice and make it through the first performance before making their final decision!!!!!  The performance is January 13th in Camden, OH.  I'm stoked about it and praying that it goes well.  This is a paid position, and the opportunities are limitless!

4.  The Elementary Christmas program was Nov. 30th.  I had been working on that program since July, and it seemed almost surreal to have it finally happen!  The kids did great, my little 4th grade actors were amazing, and it was quite a success!! Praise the Lord!  The middle school concert is a week from tomorrow, and I am hoping that they sing better then than they did today.   I am so blessed to have such an amazing job.  Oh, and I received a gift card to Olive Garden today...oh the benefits of being a teacher!

5.  January starts the beginning of training for the Flying Pig Marathon in Cincinnati.  I do have acute tendinitis, so I'd appreciate it if you would pray that it will not act up during the training process...it's the reason I couldn't complete the Columbus...

6.  I am doing a Spanish Bible study with a friend.  It's absolutely wonderful and learning about the Lord in Spanish is so exciting!

7.  Along that same line, deadlines are approaching for the Peru mission trip that I am in charge of.  I, along w/a few other leaders, will be taking a group of about 15 students from Dayton Christian to Iquitos, Peru in June.  Who knew it took so much work to be a trip coordinator!  Between contacting the missionaries in Iquitos, establishing budgets, setting up meetings and deadlines, I seriously could spend all my spare time working on this trip.  But, I don't have time to do that....

8.  And with all this, there comes the pressing issue of where the Lord wants me in regards to missions.  I am so excited to go back to Iquitos and see my Peruvian brothers and sisters again.  But, I want to go back...full time.  However, I just don't have peace about it!  I remember when I was first leaving for Peru, I really struggled w/my desires verses God's desire.  I knew what He asked me to do was best, and eventually followed Him (to Iquitos), and He blessed me in so many ways that year in Peru. 

But, now, I know He wants me to be content here in Dayton, OH.  I don't know why...for once, I am ready to go, everything inside me is screaming to head back to the field, but the Holy Spirit has told me to wait.  Yet, I'm not sure how involved I should be getting here.  Should I really be starting a home based business or joining a vocal ensemble when I don't know how long I'll be here? 

I don't know...all I know is that He has placed me here and has asked me to stay.  I don't know for how long.  So, that is where I am, and this is my really long update!   I know that so many of you pray for me, and I thank you for that!  Continue to pray that I will follow our God wholeheartedly, unashamedly, and trusting He knows best.

If I don't get a chance to update before Christmas, may the Lord bless you as you focus on the greatest gift of all...Jesus Christ!

Thanksgiving

Oh dear...

I think I have too much going on in my life.

I forgot about a meeting I was to be at w/the superintendent.  I was supposed to be there at 3:45pm.  The bad thing is that I didn't even remember until 9:15pm.  I think I'm offically losing it.  You can't just not show up to a meeting with the superintendent....

I'll find out tomorrow how much trouble I'm in.

So this weekend was quite fun, albeit busy.  Saturday I went to Ben and Ann and helped Ann strip her cabinets all afternoon.  It brought back lots of memories of furniture refinishing that I did in 4H all those years ago.   It was fun!  I really enjoy those kinds of projects, although it's hard for me to stop once I start 'cause I want perfection.

Saturday evening I came home and tried to get a list together for my Arbonne launching party.  I'm going to start selling Arbonne (skin care line) 'cause I need to make some extra money and I really like their products!  I just hope I can find the time to fit teaching, babysitting, Arbonne, and music into my schedule...I fell asleep while working on it!

This morning I went to church and came home to prepare my lesson for Trek.  Since the director was out of town, she asked me to take care of our large group lesson (council time).  I was so excited as it was on Acts and I had 30 minutes to cover the whole book.  But I had it figured out!  Then I got to Awana and found out that a special speaker was going to speak.  I was a little sad, but this guy was amazing!  He used to be in the army...he's huge...like 6'5'' and just big!  His hands had to be 3 times the size of mine and I don't have small hands! He related so well to the kids, comparing the army to the junior high Christian life.  Good stuff!  At the beginning of the lesson he went around the room to ask the kids where they went to school.  He actually asked me what school I went to!  I told him I am a teacher and it took some work to convince him of that truth!

This club is an inner-city club and these kids are something else!  Half the time I feel like I'm speaking to deaf ears, but tonight proved to be different.  Since each time block relates to the other, small group time was about Acts as well.  I had just started talking about Acts 2 and asked the girls if they had ever wondered where churches had started.

Well, Jamie looked at me and said, "One person told another person about Jesus, they believed and told others.  Then that first person went to to other cities and told other people.  And then they went to other cities and told other people.  So there were lots of little churches all over."

My mouth dropped open...the girl summed up Acts in junior high jargon. I thought, "Thank you, Jesus!  These lessons are not for nothing!"  It was so encouraging and great to see how they are really learning.  (Don't worry, I gave them more detail to think on as well )

Afterwards I met my fellow music teacher and friend, Tracy, at the Schuster Center for a concert.  The Wright State choirs and the Kettering Children's Choir were singing.  They did an incredible job...the only thing that was disconcerting was when they changed the words to "We Gather Together" and didn't mention the Lord at all.  They also talked about the "upcoming season" and never said "Christmas."  I'm so thankful for the Christian school I work in!

Now, it's almost 11pm and I need to get up and go to work!

G'night my fellow xanga friends!